Why will I never be satisfied with less?
Today was my rest day. I went on a 10km run. Most people think I am crazy.
There is a select few however, who understand.
They know how it is to never switch off. To never be satisfied. To live with that hunger inside you, that drives each and every decision you make in your life.
I ran past a local village shop and the people working in it were about my age. I love the countryside, the country life and everything that comes with it. For a second I considered this as an option. Would it sit well in my life? I’d certainly have more time to train. The people that work there seemed perfectly happy.
Then I realised, no. I could never do it. Not because it’s a bad job, or a bad life, it isn’t. But because I’d never be satisfied. I’d always know there was more out there.
To put it simply, I NEED MORE.
The inherent need to achieve. You either have it or you don’t. I have it. I crave it.
The excitement of achieving something. Of waking up in the morning and knowing you have a plan, and you are going to follow that plan and no matter how many twists and turns it takes you through, you are going to succeed. There is no such thing as failure.
If you do a Google search on the components of success, you will find an excessive amount of bullshit:
What Google doesn’t tell you, is the amount of pressure you have to put on yourself. The persistent voice you have within your head telling you to be better, aim higher, think faster, react quicker and achieve more.
That pressure is real. It’s real and you need it. Why?
If you don’t put that pressure on yourself, who will? I’ll tell you now that no one gives a rats ass whether you succeed or fail. Everyone is far too busy looking out for themselves. And so they should be. Because they are concerned whether they are going to make a success of themselves, just like you should be.
Think about you.
People often ask me why I fight. Those people have never had their hand raised.
They have never known the feeling of pushing themselves so hard on a hill sprint that they feel like their heart is going to pound out of their chest; Being taken down 15 times in a row by the same person, only to get taken down a 16th time; Being punched so many times you can’t work out which opponent you’re looking at is the one you’re supposed to punch back.
But equally they haven’t felt the feeling that explodes though your body when you complete a submission or when you perfect a take down. Better yet, when you get your hand raised. There are no words in the English language that can explain the euphoria that goes through your body when you have that momentary realization that you have won a fight.
It happens in slow motion. The understanding that you’ve won comes first, followed by a flashback of your entire training camp: Diets, early mornings and late finishes, mixed with the abuse your body has suffered during training. Then every single nerve in your body starts to tingle with the joy and satisfaction of what you’ve just achieved. The primal, desperate need to scream and shout from the rooftops and let everyone know of your victory is overbearing.
That never goes away. No matter how old you get, how tough you are or how many times it happens. Every time it’s just as special, and no one can ever take it away from you.
In answer to my own question, why will I never be satisfied with less?
Because less isn’t enough. It never will be. I will always want more.